I.  The genesis of the problem

Dan manages a multimillion-dollar research project. He reports directly to the program manager, Susan. Though she supervises other managers, he is one of her best producers.

The employees who report to Dan need his help. But, they also fear him. After speaking with him about it several times, two of them scheduled a private meeting with Susan. They acknowledged his expertise, but they accused him of making the environment hostile. After carefully listening and asking follow-up questions, Susan promised to work with Dan. She was confident that he would come around once she clarified how critical it was for him to build appropriate relationships with his team. 

To her disappointment, Dan responded defensively. Later, I half-heartedly consented to work on it. After several verbal warnings and a written one for his file, his behaviors remained the same. Dan had assumed that his fantastic research outputs and celebrity status due to his publications make him untouchable. 

Marshall Goldsmith was right when he said, “The trouble with success is that…our previous success often prevents us from achieving more success.”  Our past success sabotages our current and future success unless we are careful. If what we have been working in our favor, why change? ‘If it’s not broke, why fix it?’ It seems fair, isn’t it? It looks like a no-brainer. But it’s not. Those competencies, behaviors, decisions, and actions that have brought us this far will get in the way and prevent us from achieving the next level of success unless we take proactive measures to upgrade ourselves continually. 

Before taking this supervisory role, his lack of some soft skills hadn’t been that much of a problem (at least not one that he’d noticed). Dan had been succeeding and achieving project milestones with relative ease. This success prevented him from realizing the need to make some changes following his new role as manager of a megaproject. Dan’s behavior wasn’t strange to Susan. She worked with other high-achieving researchers. In most cases, the desire to advance had made them take their supervisory roles more seriously. 

Susan is an excellent communicator. She tried everything she could for Dan to take her specific feedback seriously. Finally, she gave him the last warning. “If you don’t build rapport with your team in the next couple of weeks, you will no longer be the lead on this project.” 

Despite her assurances, she was serious; Dan smirked at her. “You’d never do something like that. No one knows this research better than I do. Doing that would result in a guaranteed failure. I mean, have you met my team?”

Finally, Susan realized that Dan wouldn’t change or quietly give up his managerial position without a fight. Considering his high-profile status and Paul’s high regard for him, she didn’t want to take a unilateral decision without first consulting Paul. 

She wanted Dan to succeed. But, she didn’t see how he could continue in his current role without working on his:

a) Personal development, 

b) Ability to get along with others, and 

c) Leadership competency to influence others.

 II. The CEO intervened to rescue one of his superstars

a) Lack of self-mastery as a stumbling block

Susan had kept Paul updated on her hopes for Dan and a couple of weeks ago on her concerns that he wasn’t taking her feedback seriously. Following her latest disappointing conversation with Dan, she reached out to Paul and requested a quick meeting to talk about Dan. The following day, they met in his office. 

Paul shifted his attention to business after exchanging quick greetings and inquiring about Susan’s recent family vacation. “How are things going with Dan?” He asked. Susan pulled herself to the sofa's edge, cleared her voice, and explained. “Dan has delivered more than our expectations regarding his project’s milestones. He is hard-working, with extraordinary self-discipline and time management skills. But, Dan does things the way he wants, and when others point out better ways of doing things, Dan gets frustrated, lashes out, and cannot control his emotions and anger. He is incapable of resolving problems before they escalate and cause damage. Dan also makes decisions without involving key stakeholders.” 

Paul listened attentively and probed. “What you’re saying is that he doesn’t have personal mastery. Am I correct?” “Exactly!” Susan consented and further elaborated, “Dan thinks that he has all it takes to do the job by himself. He couldn’t see his limitations. Dan isn’t self-aware of some of his shortcomings. Even if some of his team members and I mentioned his blind spots, he wasn’t willing to acknowledge and work on them.” 

“We had hoped for better. But I’m not surprised. Too many of these situations end up with someone leaving the organization.” Paul expressed his disappointment. “Do you have any suggestions on how we can work toward a win-win? I know you don’t want to lose Dan. Neither do I. Things have to change if he’s going to stay, though.” He solicited her advice.

Susan wished these were the only failings of Dan’s. And therefore, she remarked, “Paul, these are the tip of the iceberg.” When Paul heard this statement, he knew that he was there for a long ride. Hence, he leaned back on the sofa, sat comfortably, and signaled Susan to continue. 

b) Unable to get along with others causing trouble

Once Susan got his attention, she continued. “Dan also failed to get along with others. He is a loner and finds himself productive when he works alone. Dan spends a lot of time in the lab. He firmly believes that spending time with others to know their needs, aspirations, and also the challenges they face is a distraction from his busy schedule.” 

Knowing that the behaviors Susan just mentioned are common among scientists, he interrupted Susan politely. “He is a scientist, for God’s sake, Susan!” He then asked her a rhetorical question. “What is wrong with seeking to be alone and spending time in his lab most of the time? Many researchers are introverts and prefer to stay within their world, and these behaviors come with the territory.” 

Unlike Susan, whose MBA background, Paul came from a science background. He had been a scientist for many years before he began taking a series of managerial positions in the last two decades. 

“You’re right, Paul, the majority of his time should be spent in the lab and alone for him to reflect, read, and write. But, as you already know, his new role as a project manager requires him to interact with both people within his project and outside more frequently.” Susan felt Paul undermined her ability to understand what it takes to be a successful scientist. Even if she doesn’t have a scientific background, Susan is a veteran project manager. Before joining GHR, she had been working with scientists and researchers successfully. 

Paul read the facial expression of Susan, which revealed her frustration. To ease the tension, Paul smiled broadly and clarified his point. “As long as he is communicating with the team using technologies and conducting those mandatory in-person meetings and one-on-ones, I don’t see the need for him to spend lots of time with others. You should understand his challenge. He must deliver his promises to our donors, interact with other scientists in his field, and publish and present the results at scientific forums.”

I worked for an international research organization while I was still back home in Ethiopia from 1999 until I came to the US in 2005. In this industry, you either publish or perish. You’re constantly pressured to write proposals, aggressively seek funds, and deliver your promises. It’s a very competitive and high-paced environment. Because of that, many researchers are tempted to spend less time with their team members and other stakeholders to devote more time to surviving and thriving in this cutthroat environment. 

Paul’s attempt didn’t work. Instead, it further irritated her. She is well aware that Dan should get enough time to do his job with minimal interruptions. She hadn’t wanted to overwhelm Paul with details, but she didn’t have any choice. “I fully understand his situation. But, if he had invested a fraction of his time alone in his lab to communicate with his team properly, problems wouldn’t have cropped up.” 

She further poured out her frustration. “Even those scant communications are mostly via email. Whenever Dan conducts meetings and one-on-ones, he doesn’t provide enough information and context. Dan is disinterested in listening  to their opinions and concerns.” She further pointed out that he is impatient as he interacts with people outside of his project. “Not only that, he makes critical decisions without involving key stakeholders. Some of Dan’s team members and peers also accuse him of being insensitive to their culture and religion. Conflict is rampant, but Dan doesn't have the time, interest, and will to address them on time.” 

“What did he say about the conflicts?” Paul inquired. Susan groaned and rubbed her head. “He thinks that the conflicts are none of his creations. He blames others. Most importantly, Dan seems oblivious to all the resentment, even though outsiders can feel it just by walking into his department.”

“That is the most common response in my experience. Since we can’t see ourselves without bias, we tend to think that the conflicts we experience are everyone else’s problem. I see that Dan needs to develop his people skills.” Paul shared his observation and asked a follow-up question, “Have you suggested he attend some training courses to improve his people skills?”

While nodding her head, Susan answered, “Initially, yes, but Dan was dismissive. I can’t force him to attend training. And even if I could, what good will it do if he’s not invested in improving and doing better?” “What are his reasons?” Paul wondered.

Susan couldn’t hold back. “He is adamant about not having time. He was sure the project would fall way behind schedule and said he wouldn’t do it even for something that seemed worthwhile to him.” 

After a few moments, Paul asked, “Do you agree with him?”

With a slight shake of her head, Susan replied, “It would be a lot of time away from the research, but I can’t help wondering if his team won’t be productive enough to make up for it. His borderline-abusive relationships with his staff certainly aren’t helping the tight schedule.”

Susan’s mention of abusive relationships triggered Paul’s memory. “I can’t remember even seeing him chat with anyone. He always leaves team lunches and birthday celebrations as soon as he’s done eating . . . Will you tell me more about his abusiveness?”

This question was difficult for her. Susan sighed. This is hard to believe because she didn’t have examples. Susan felt disloyal. But did she have any choice?

Before continuing, Susan paused. “Dan hardly ever gives his team members all the information they need. I’m not sure if he knows he is doing it, but I suspect it’s part of his belief that intelligent people can find answers on their own. I guess it's like a test Later, he cuts them out of the most significant works when they fail to meet his extremely high standards. He doesn’t demote them officially, but task assignments say otherwise. That way, he doesn’t have to address the matter at all.”

Though Paul was satisfied with Susan’s response, he decided to push it further. “And when they ask him about it?”

“He refuses to answer. He says things like, ‘If you don’t know, you’re even worse off than I thought.’”

Paul wasn’t about to let this thing go. He wanted to know. “Is he like this with his peers and donors too?” 

Susan paused to think about her answer. “Dan does it with his peers. It’s worse. If anything, he doesn’t hold back or leave it for them to ask. He tends to lay it out for them via email. I know some of his donors keep contact with him to a minimum, but no one has complained so far.” 

Bending his head down, Paul shook his head. Susan further elaborated before asking another question, “When donors come to observe the project's progress, he makes time for them, but he is quick to dismiss them. He tells them to email him with any questions. That comes back to his work coming first, though. He does respond to the questions right away; he emails them in the evening once he’s left the office. He doesn’t seem to see the value of their active involvement.”

“I see.” Paul looked aggravated. “And how is your relationship with him lately? Have you found him to be receptive to anything you say?” 

Another tough question. Regardless, without taking the time to think, Susan explained. “Occasionally, we can find some common ground. He’s quick to remind me that my background is in business and his in science. In general, though, he tells me that everyone is overreacting. He has accused me of trying to make him into someone he doesn’t like. Someone who is more like me.” Both laughed.

c) Failing to influence others getting in the way

Paul looked perplexed. He kept quiet for several seconds. The room froze. 

“I see that he needs to improve his communication skills, but what about his leadership? As I've read from your reports, the project seems to be going very well.” Paul was hoping to hear some encouraging reports. 

Nonetheless, Susan had none. “Leadership, as you know, is about influencing others to do what you want them to do even more. Unfortunately, Dan has limited influence both within and outside of his project. His team complains that he pressures them to deliver using various techniques, such as some forms of fear and manipulations rather than motivating them to tap into their potential.” 

Paul chimed in. “That means he uses old-school motivation approaches that no longer work.” Both laughed loudly.

“Besides, some of his team members also criticized him for failing to invest in them. He expects them to over-deliver his expectations without spending enough time empowering them.” Susan agreed. There was a brief quiet moment. No one spoke. 

Susan added, “I also learned that Dan prefers win-lose scenarios rather than negotiating and building the coalition he needs to achieve what he wants.” He also barely participates in the companywide long-term transformation efforts since he is preoccupied with delivering quick and immediate project results.

Susan further gave Paul some incidents to demonstrate that Dan failed to lead his team. These examples painted a clear picture concerning Dan’s struggle to influence others. She shared, almost word-for-word, the argument she had with Dan that led her to believe that he wasn’t going to change. 

She then dropped the bomb. “I informed Dan that I’m going to remove him from managing the project unless he demonstrates a turnaround in the next couple of weeks. I came here to give you a heads up since I know how much you value Dan and the hope you had for him.”

Rushing to save one of the bests

Paul looked thwarted. Though he could hear from her voice that she was irritated when she called to set up this meeting, he hadn’t anticipated she would go this far. Who blames him? This news is upsetting to him. He knows Dan’s achievements and hard work. He was hoping that he would continue to excel. However, he cannot undermine Susan. He knows that she is beyond reproach. 

After asking a couple of more questions and listening carefully, he realized that Susan had strong reasons to reach this conclusion.

Nonetheless, Paul felt that it wasn’t a good idea to put a demand on Dan like this. And therefore, he expressed his concern that “He may not respond positively to your precondition.” If you remove him from leading his project, he may overreact and take some desperate measures that may not be good for our organization both in the short and long term.  

“Removing Dan at this point will be a big loss, and substituting him with another person is even more challenging.” Paul further argued.

“Even if we get someone of his caliber, remember, his project just finished phase one, the donors have tremendous confidence in him, and if they know that he isn’t the one leading the next phases, they may not continue to fund the project. And, I don’t want to take that chance yet.”

Accordingly, Paul suggested a three-way meeting in his office to find a middle ground to resolve the stalemate. He proposed that Dan should be given some growth opportunities before demoting him. Susan said, with a skeptic tone, “I’ve tried that. I asked him to attend some workshops, but he insisted that he didn’t have time. He is also cynical about workshops on themes that are non-technical.” 

After sharing his resentment of attending these types of workshops as a scientist and then as a junior manager, he asked Susan to give Dan one last chance. She gave in. “Paul, I’m okay if you decide to give it a try, and you may succeed in changing his mind. But, you should know that some key scientists and managers threatened to quit if he continued with his unacceptable behaviors. We shouldn’t lose all to retain one.” 

“I won’t let that happen. If Dan declines to accept my offer and fails to demonstrate improvements within a reasonable period, I’ll let him go.” Paul promised. Susan agreed to the compromise and left Paul’s office. Right away, Paul called Dan, talked to him briefly, and asked him to come to his office on Friday at 1 pm for a three-way meeting.

III. Negotiation to break the deadlock

That triple threat meeting arrived. Both Susan and Dan arrived at the CEO’s office on time. The warm, sunny weather was a stark contrast to what was happening in Paul’s office. Two of GHR’s best minds sat across from Paul’s empty chair. Susan asked Dan about his plans for the weekend. His short answers ended the conversation quickly enough.

Short answers and limited eye contacts are typical for Dan. He doesn’t see the point in small talks, something he had mentioned to his team many times. Dan was also holding a grudge against Susan over an argument they had earlier in the week. Dan hated Susan for having complained about him to the CEO. For that matter, she was the very reason why he was sitting in this office instead of working. He couldn’t wait to be done with this nonsense and return to his lab table. Unlike this meeting, that project was meaningful and was where most of his attention was focused while sitting there waiting for Paul to arrive.

Paul was a little late as he was attending an important meeting outside. After apologizing for being late, he thanked both for coming. 

He quickly moved to tackle the issue. Paul planned to directly go to the solution, thinking that if he brought up what had happened between the two, things might go out of hand in an unexpected direction. Besides, he was out the whole morning; thus, he would like to finish this trio meeting quickly and return to work. 

However, Dan wasn’t ready to let go so fast. He jumped in. “Paul, before we move on to address the problem, you haven’t heard my side of the story. I don’t see any problem here. Why should we rush to fix a problem that doesn’t exist.” 

Feeling guilty for not giving Dan a chance to share his side of the story, Paul nodded his head, signaling Dan to continue. He said, “My bad! Go ahead.” Dan complained. “I’ve met the project's milestones, and things are going as planned. The complaints are unfair and personal. These people don’t like my personality and style of management. I’m a researcher; what do they expect from me? I cannot please everyone. Susan should have known this.” 

Paul’s fear just happened. Susan felt that Dan’s last statement undermined her. Susan couldn’t let that go without a comment. “Look, Dan! Your communication skills, style, and approaches weren’t that important when working by yourself. Now, you are leading a huge project. Two dozen researchers are reporting to you. They look up to you. Not only that, your position requires you to interact with professionals from other departments cordially.” 

With a visible impatience, Dan responded immediately. “I can lead this project successfully, and things are going well. We are on track. I don’t understand why you should listen to these people and bother me. We just reached a significant milestone and celebrated the success with the main stakeholders. So far, everybody is happy with the results. We are on time and within budget. What else do you expect from me?” 

Though he tried to control his emotions and appear calm and friendly, his facial expression, gestures, and voice pitch betrayed him.

Dan is a victim of a psychological condition called cognitive dissonance. Goldsmith argues that cognitive dissonance results from “the disconnect between what we believe in our minds and what we experience or see in reality.” Dan thought that he was successful in his mind in his new role as a manager. Unfortunately, that wasn’t what was happening. The reality on the ground painted a different picture.

He wasn’t alone in blaming others for his predicament. It's counterintuitive and against our nature to first look inwardly and accept responsibilities. When something goes wrong, we point our fingers everywhere. Very few people point their fingers inwardly and take responsibility for working on themselves until they master themselves. 

The above were the same lines of arguments Susan had heard repeatedly. “You don’t listen to anyone else but yourself.” Dan’s continual defensiveness disenchanted Susan. 

Susan continued, still exasperated. I’ve given you lots of feedback again and again. I expected you to make some changes in your interaction with your team and people from other departments. But you ignored them all. You continued to irritate key people in our organization. These people are sick and tired of being bullied and disrespected. For that matter, you pushed some of them to the extreme. They threatened to quit if you continued to behave like this. You didn’t give me any choice but to lead the project if you don’t improve your approaches.

Mockingly, Dan said, “With all due respect, you don’t know squat about research and what it takes to succeed in this field.” Before Dan continued to utter words that he might regret, Paul jumped in. “Stop blaming one another. We are here to find a win-win solution.”

While calming the two down, he realized in his mind that, unlike his original intention, things heated up, and he lost control. He immediately decided to change his approach. He knew that Dan must be open to change for his proposal to get accepted. 

Shifting his weight toward Dan, Paul zoomed in and confronted him. “Dan, we are here because we respect you and want you to succeed. You should be part of this effort, not against it. You are working hard to make sure this project succeeds. You want to have a significant role in managing this big project. You have extreme passion.”

“Unfortunately, it seems to me that you hate the accompanied leadership responsibilities, which require you to come out of your comfort zone. As a successful world-class researcher, you succeed by working hard in your lab and focusing on the quality of your project works. Esteemed journals have been publishing your papers. You have been overdelivering and attracted millions of dollars in funding. No one denies that. We are proud of you. However, the success you have achieved through your hard work alone couldn’t help you excel in your current managerial role.”

Allowing Dan to process what he had just said, Paul paused intentionally. He looked at Dan. To avoid eye contact, Dan looked away. Paul continued firmly. “We want you to succeed in this company. You’re young. The sky is the limit for you in this organization. However, you need to grow in certain aspects of your life, particularly your soft skills, and I have an offer.” He set the tone before putting forward his proposal.

The room was quiet. 

It seems Paul’s approach worked. Dan listened carefully and realized that Paul supports Susan’s position and expects him to make some changes. It finally dawned on him that his abilities, such as writing winning proposals, designing outstanding experiments, flawless project execution, and monitoring, were not enough to keep leading the project. 

Paul underscored, “The technical skills that propelled you to excel in the lab alone cannot enable you to succeed continually in your current leadership position.” We are here to help you overcome this challenge.

Both Susan and Dan remained silent. Hence, Paul propositioned, “My proposal requires a compromise from both of you.” Paul looked at both and felt that they seemed okay if he proceeded. “Susan, let Dan remain in his position for a while. We should give him ample chances before you take him off from leading the project.”  

“Dan, I want you to attend our popular soft skills development program. It’s fantastic, especially for people like you and me whose background is science. I’ve heard great things from many scientists who have attended the program thus far. You know Rafael Arthur, the program manager?” 

“Yeah, I know him.” Dan nodded.

“He has been a mentor for some of our young scientists like you over the years.” I’ll ask him to mentor you. By the way, he has a scientific background and is an excellent mentor, and he had also attended the same program some years back. 

“Nonetheless, I don’t want you to participate in this program out of pressure. It works if you are passionate about it and take it seriously. Continue to lead the project while attending the program. And later, we’ll come back here again to assess your progress. In the meantime, if you may have any questions or concerns, feel free to stop by at any time.” Paul explained further.

Though Dan wasn’t convinced that attending a training program would make things better, considering Paul's efforts to resolve the conflict between him and Susan, he was obliged to accept the compromise. 

However, the real difference-maker for Dan to agree to the offer was the fact that Rafael attended the same program. Rafael is a well-known scientist who, like Susan, manages one of the programs at GHR. Paul paired the two knowing that they could quickly establish rapport as they both have a science background.

The room froze. Both Paul and Susan waited for Dan’s answer anxiously. 

He agreed half-heartedly. “Okay, Paul. I see that you’re trying to help here. I’ll join the program and also work with Rafael.” 

Paul was happy that Dan took his offer positively and said, “I’m not ambitious, Dan. I know that soft skills cannot be mastered in three months. However, I hope you make efforts to work on your soft skills from now on. I don’t anticipate you  demonstrating a turnaround within a short period, but we hope that you will show some improvements.” 

Susan seemed content. She didn’t say anything except shake her head up and down to show her agreement with the proposal. 

Paul thanked both for coming and agreed to his proposal. He stood from his chair, shook their hands, and led them out of his office. 

When he returned to his chair, Paul felt relieved knowing that Dan had agreed to join the soft skills development program, and Susan accepted his proposal. 

Both of these leaders are his superstars. He needs them to work out their differences. 

Dan is young and has potential. Paul believed that Dan would be convinced once he participated in the program and realized the significance of soft skills.

Paul was confident that once Dan realized how important soft skills were to his success in his managerial position and future career goals, he would invest his time and energy in developing them.

Rafael and Dan met before the start of the program. Rafael shared his experience and how much the program helped him in his managerial roles- first as a manager of a mega project and now as a program manager. He also answered Dan’s questions and clarified his concerns. 

They agreed to meet in Rafael’s office the day after each workshop for an hour. They discussed the format and outline of the mentoring sessions. Below are the discussion points they agreed to cover. From each workshop:

1.   Dan learned four key lessons, 

2.   Assessments, processes, models, and tools he found helpful, and

3.   Immediate actions he plans to take as a result of attending that particular workshop.

IV. Soft skills development program to tackle the problem

Experiencing mixed feelings, Dan drove to attend the orientation session just one week before the program started. On the one hand, he was worried about being away from the project for one full day each week for the next three months. Dan was concerned that the project team might not function properly in his absence. He was also wondering whether the project might fall behind schedule. On the other hand, Dan was excited since he had accepted the challenge to give this program a try. 

Dan arrived at the conference room just before 9 am. While walking to sit at one of the tables in the back, Dan quickly audited the room to see who else was attending the program. He saw some familiar faces. Some participants applied for this program, while the rest were forcefully sent, like Dan or their bosses recommended to participate in this program. 

Everyone was seated, eagerly waiting for the orientation session to begin.

Patrick Young is the Senior Program Manager of GHR’s professional development program. Sharp at 9 am, he opened the meeting. Pat has a Ph.D. degree in Biochemistry and is a certified Project Management Professional (PMP). He is a scientist and has extensive experience as a researcher. 

However, Pat only spends 25 % of his time at GHR on research work in his current position. He welcomed everyone and briefly talked about:

·  Why GHR decided to provide this program to its people, 

·  The selection criteria used to select participants, and

·  The organization’s expectations from each participant.

At the end of his opening remarks, Pat encouraged participants to reach out to him if they may have any questions or needed support. Before stepping down from the stage, he briefly spoke about the training company that won the contract to deliver the program for three years. Next, he invited the facilitator of the orientation session, Karen James, to the stage.

Karen is a very charismatic and articulate trainer. She briefly talked about her education, the companies she worked for, and a few of her hobbies. With her sense of humor and playful personality, she immediately captured the participants' attention. Karen asked participants to introduce themselves briefly and share their expectations from the program. 

In attendance, there were 15 people. Some of the participants were scientists like Dan, while others were technical professionals working in the IT, Engineering, and Accounting Departments, while still others were department and section heads. 

Participants in this program came from diverse cultural backgrounds. The majority of the participants were from the US. Nonetheless, some participants were from Europe, Africa, South America, and Asia. Participants were also diverse in gender and age. 

Many schools failing to equip their graduates

Once the introduction was over, still as friendly and warm as when she opened the session, Karen smiled and continued, “I’d like to start by emphasizing the importance of soft skills.” She gave them some statistics that showed how soft skills play the lion’s share of success. 

After sharing a few stories highlighting the critical roles soft skills play in individual and collective success, she then pointed out that soft skills haven’t been given the attention they deserve. “Many schools fail to empower their students to develop certain soft skills while they are still with them before they go out to face the world following graduation. Though they equip their students to do their technical jobs meticulously, many of the contemporary education systems worldwide don’t recognize the pivotal roles soft skills play for the career success of their students.” 

While speaking, she scanned the class. She observed that almost all participants nodded their heads concurring with her assessment.

I can testify to that. Whether I was doing my veterinary degree or master’s in computer science, I don’t remember taking a single course or attending any workshop on soft skills. 

Not just schools and colleges. For instance, in its State of the Industry Report, the American Society for Training and Development (ASTD) disclosed, “U.S. organizations spent $171.5 billion on employee learning and development in 2010.”[i] Nonetheless, “While 72% of the expenses were allocated to hard skills, only 28 % of those training dollars went to soft skills.”[ii] If 85% of career success comes from soft skills, the latter should have been given proportionate funding and attention. But, the above statistics from ASTD shows the reverse.

Few invest in the soft skills of their people

After a very brief pause, Karen pushed on. “Once students are graduated, that is when the real challenge surfaces. As you have already experienced, most jobs require communicating with superiors, peers, and internal and external clients.” 

We communicate more than we would like to admit. I remember reading one of MIT’s surveys. It reported that scientists and engineers spend more time communicating rather than doing their technical work in the lab and workroom. If professionals in technical fields devote most of their time to communicating, you can imagine how much professionals in other fields may spend. 

“Our success in fulfilling our job description and meeting our personal and organizational goals requires developing certain soft skills.” Karen further argued. “Unfortunately, many organizations are unaware of this fact. And therefore, they fail to empower their people to develop those soft critical skills necessary for them to undertake their job, get along with, and influence others successfully.”

Karen paused. No one interjected. She interpreted their silence as permission to continue. “The good thing is that GHR has made a serious commitment to invest in the soft skills of its people. That is why we are here.” Karen admired GHR’s decision to invest in this soft skills development program. 

After another long pause, she opened the floor to questions. “Any question, comment, or thought about the importance of soft skills?” 

From her experience, Karen realized that many technical professionals struggle to accept that the lack or underdevelopment of some soft skills may get in the way and prevent them from succeeding and advancing up the corporate ladder. She anticipated some resistance. That was why she opened the floor to questions before talking about the program and how it works.

However, the first question she got had nothing to do with soft skills.

Defining hard skills

Kelley Johnson is an African American who is recently promoted to lead the Human Resources Department. Before her promotion, she was the head of the employee engagement section. Kelley has a sense of humor. Kelley always smiles even when she asks tough questions. She also provides tough feedback with ease. 

Kelley wondered, Karen, I heard you mentioning hard skills a couple of times. I’d like to be on the same page with you. What do you mean by “hard skills?” Karen redirected the question to the class. A couple of participants ventured and defined hard skills. 

For instance, Kofi Solomon- originally from Ghana and Facility Manager at GHR- defined, “Hard skills are tangible abilities and know-how we use to accomplish a task, whether the task is in our backyard, workplace, or marketplace.” 

Antonio Raul, like Dan, is a project manager of another megaproject at GHR. He defined hard skills as follows, “Technical skills are those abilities we use to perform hands-on duties.”

Karen attentively listened to the definitions proposed by the participants and acknowledged that these are great descriptions. But, she reminded the class that there is no one perfect definition we all must agree on. Once the class was on the same page concerning the meaning of hard skills, she asked, “Any other question?” Participants seemed to be accepting the meaning. 

Dan questioned the significance of soft skills

One of the things that have been bothering Dan since the issue of soft skills surfaced in his professional life was the importance they have been given. He felt that both Susan and Paul blew the significance of soft skills out of proportion. He couldn’t take it any longer as he listened to Karen glorifying soft skills over technical skills. 

He firmly believed that technical expertise is more important than soft skills, especially in organizations like GHR. And hence, he expressed his skepticism. “From the recent discussions I had with some of my colleagues, and now from your presentation earlier, I cannot stop thinking that soft skills have been given more prominence than they deserve as if they are more important than technical skills. I disagree.” 

Some participants chuckled. Karen smiled warmly and kidded. “Dan, you’re saying that soft skills are overrated.” Even Dan smiled while the rest laughed out loud. “Joke aside, you’re right. Technical skills are critical. Without technical expertise, it’s unlikely that one could fulfill their job description. Every team, business, and organization in any industry needs some key set of hard skills to succeed and meet its mission.” 

Technical skills help to get in

Karen continued. “It takes hard skills to set one’s foot in. It’s unlikely to perform one’s duties without technical know-hows successfully.” She went ahead and further built her case:

·  “An accountant without the hard skill of math knowledge is lame. No one hires such a handicapped accountant. 

·  An IT help desk professional who lacks hard skills such as disassembling and reconstructing a Computer, installing software, antiviruses, antispyware, and other technical expertise such as troubleshooting should not be working at the desk.

·  A surgeon without the necessary technical skills should not be allowed to pen anyone.

·  A lawyer who doesn’t know all the laws in the area where he represents his clients doesn’t qualify to serve clients. 

·  The list continues…

But, we need to develop and hone certain soft skills if we desire to enjoy success in what we do.” 

Defining soft skills

Krishna Anil is a scientist from India. He came to Karen’s aid. “I concur. Though technical proficiencies in any field are mandatory, as far as we are working with others, hard skills are not enough to succeed in any career.”

Lucas Arthur is the Head of Logistics at GHR. He was curious. “What are soft skills?” As usual, Karen redirected the question to the participants. 

Many hands were raised, but most of these hands were from those who had been very active. Thus, Karen gave a chance to Natalia Kamil. 

Natalia is a second-generation Polish woman. She leads the social media section within the Marketing Department. She explained. “Hard skills are job-related knowledge and abilities that we have to fulfill our job description. On the other hand, soft skills are intangible and may not directly relate to the jobs we are hired to perform but are essential to succeed in our roles.” 

Some used interchangeable words such as “human skills” and “interpersonal skills” in place of “soft skills.” Others narrowly defined “soft skills” as communication, emotional intelligence, and mindfulness. 

“Soft skills aren’t just those abilities we need to communicate and connect with others. In this program, they’ve got wider applications.

They’re competencies necessary to control oneself, collaborate with, and ifulence others. Without developing and refining these soft skills, one can’t do extraordinary things and become successful in any endeavor. They complement technical competencies and result in undeniable success.” Karen clarified.

Karen moved on and made a quick disclaimer. “By the way, the twelve soft skills we’re going to cover in this program can’t empower us to succeed unless we develop: 

·  Positive attitude, 

·  An optimistic outlook, and 

·  Hopefulness.”

Soft skills for corporate success

It’s impossible to meet our corporate goals solely depending on our people’s technical abilities. The workplace needs team members who have developed certain soft skills more than ever. The latter contributes to a more productive, harmonious, and fruitful work environment, leading to collectively achieving irrefutable results. 

In response to NACE’s Job Outlook 2016 survey, employers look for out of the ten skills when they hire. These soft skills include the “Ability to verbally communicate with persons inside and outside the organization, Ability to work in a team structure, Ability to make decisions and solve problems, Ability to plan, organize and prioritize work, and Ability to obtain and process information.”[iii]

Difficult to find team members with the right soft skills

James Brett is a senior grant writer and manager of the grant office that interacts with both internal and external clients as it provides grants for qualifying research proposals. James weighed in. “Some of us are challenged to appreciate the significant roles that soft skills play because they are elusive. It’s harder to quantify these skills compared to hard skills. But, we can quickly recognize when we see individuals who have developed and fine-tuned their soft skills. These are the ones who contribute the lion’s share toward the overall success of their team and organization. And it is not that hard to identify such individuals.” Karen nodded her head in agreement. “I couldn’t agree more with you, James. You nailed it!” 

I’ve talked to many managers. They don’t think twice about letting go of team members who are technically savvy without soft skills. Even if they graduated at the top of their class, they prefer to retain those with equivalent technical know-how coupled with people skills. This choice is straightforward. You can always quickly find someone with superb technical skills for almost most jobs. But, it’s tough to find someone who has the necessary technical skills plus the soft skills essential to getting along with the existing team.

Does soft mean weak?

Dan remarked dryly. “On one hand, we’re talking about how soft critical skills are and how tough it’s to develop them. On the contrary, we use a label like ‘soft.’ If you ask me, it’s confusing.” 

Without waiting for Karen’s reply, Dan asked skeptically. “Don’t you think that the word ‘soft’ may be taken as ‘weak’?” Some participants looked at one another and shrugged as if to say, ‘I don’t.’ Not Karen. She took Dan’s question seriously. 

Karen paused for several seconds and clarified. “The word soft shouldn’t diminish the significance and power of soft skills. People shouldn’t take the word ‘soft’ literally. They shouldn’t also assume that ‘hard’ means strong and tough. Developing soft skills is tougher than developing hard skills.” Dan looked unconvinced. 

Karen continued. “By the way, there are soft things that are also strong. Think about silk. Little insects produce it. Yes, it’s soft. But, it can be as strong and tough as steel. Likewise, developing soft skills doesn’t equate to becoming ‘soft’ in its literal meaning. Actually, developing soft skills enable you to become tough whenever necessary.”

However, she admitted that the term ‘soft skills’ has been controversial. “By the way, we know that the term is contentious. Many people associate it with weakness. There are also people who argue that it is inaccurate, hard to measure, and gender-biased. As a result, we tried to find an alternative fitting name that could show a parallel with technical/hard skills without success. We brainstormed and came up with alternative names such as interpersonal skills, people skills, adjunct skills, non-cognitive skills, 21st-century skills, etc. However, none of them appeared to be the best fit for this program. Though we recognized that some people might find it inaccurate and even dislike the word ‘soft’ in soft skills, we thought the term is universally known.”

Hard skills and soft skills complement one another

Karen looked at her watch and realized that she was running out of time. However, she didn’t want to conclude the current discussion like this. And thus, she decided to give the class an example that demonstrates how soft skills supplement hard skills and their critical roles. Though Karen’s background is in computer science, she used a simple analogy that everybody could understand. 

Karen explained it as simply as possible. “A computer may be packed with powerful hardware such as a high-speed processor and a large memory chip. It cannot even boot without the aid of an operating system (software), let alone function and execute your tasks properly. Similarly, hard skills without the support of soft skills are lame.”

Participants quickly got the point Karen was trying to communicate except Dan. He seemed confused. “Software by themselves is useless. They need the right hardware.” He protested.

“Yes, both need each other. Unfortunately, many professionals misplace their focus. They undermine the place of soft skills. They keep working on their technical knowledge and abilities, neglecting to invest in their soft skills.” Karen clarified.

International Talent Management Strategist and Coach- Dorothy Dalton used a relevant analogy to explain the complementary nature of hard and soft skills. She wrote, “Hard skills are the foundation of a successful career. But soft skills are the cement.” In construction, it’s impossible to have any enduring foundation without using cement. It’s used to glue rocks and other hard materials together to build a solid foundation. 

Primarily because of a lack of awareness, many undermine the critical roles of soft skills. Very few understood the rightful place of soft skills at the early stage of their career. These are the ones that have avoided paying dire prices that come from failing to work on soft skills, which take a relatively long time to develop.

Upgrading both hard and soft skills

Dmitry Egor is an immigrant from Ukraine and is the new Chief Information Technology Officer. He complemented the analogy Karen used earlier. “When we are requested to upgrade our computers for better performance, we don’t go out to purchase the latest hardware just because they perform better than the existing ones. We upgrade the operating system (software) and software applications.

Otherwise, the new hardware (CPU and memory chips) may not be compatible with the existing software. Even if the two systems (both the hardware and operating system) are compatible, without the right upgrade, the applications that are running on our computers cannot deliver the performance improvements we desire.”

“Thanks, Dmitry!” Karen complimented. “We need to develop and fine-tune our soft skills as we continue to improve our technical skills. We need to upgrade both proactively.”

Measuring the progress of soft skills is harder

Fernandez Juan is a senior scientist from Mexico. He marveled. “You said soft skills are intangible skills, so how can we measure whether we are making progress?”

Karen enjoyed the active participation of the class. Even those who weren’t asking and commenting participated by nodding their heads. 

She underscored, “Both hard and soft skills need improvement. It’s easier to evaluate the improvement we make in our hard skills. I agree. It may not be that easy in the case of soft skills.” She then suggested, “Seek feedback from the people you work with to see if you’re making progress on your soft skills. You may also consider having coaches and mentors to get feedback and progress consistently.”

The three parts of the program

As the orientation session approached to end, Karen quickly explained the purpose of the overall soft skills development program and the three parts that would be covered in the coming twelve weeks: 

·  Part I: Mastering Self, 

·  Part II: Getting Along With Others, and 

·  Part III: Leading Others.

“Each of you has a folder. There are important materials within each folder, including a welcoming letter, an outline of the program, and dates and places where each workshop will be held.” Karen further clarified. Next, she walked participants through the outline, introduced some ground rules, and then gave them a chance to ask questions about the program. 

Why only 12 soft skills?

Martha Michael manages the Procurement Department. She used the opportunity and asked, “Why only just twelve soft skills? Are these the only soft skills we need to work on?” 

“No! These aren’t the only ones. But, these are the bare minimum. These twelve soft skills make or break our success.” Karen admitted and suggested, “However, while working on these crucial soft skills, it’s good to continually work on our other soft skills to solidify our success.” 

Are the soft skills only for leaders?

Some participants weren't done even if she was out of time and visibly rushed to conclude the orientation session. Without raising his hand and waiting for Karen’s permission, Kofi hurried to ask. “Are these skills needed only by those who are leaders and would like to become leaders?” 

Karen quickly answered. “Our company strongly believes that everyone is a leader in the area of their passion. Each employee needs to develop leadership skills to fulfill their respective responsibilities in the workplace. These twelve soft skills are essential for all who desire to attain success in what they do, regardless of whether they have official leadership titles or not. Our journey toward achieving indisputable success in what we do requires mastering oneself, getting along with, and leading others. And, this program is designed for those who would like to succeed in what they do, including those who are already leaders and those aspiring to become leaders.” 

Some participants raised a couple of more clarification questions. Karen briefly answered all of the questions. The orientation ended successfully.

No more excuses…

Dan used the return trip to think and reflect. He remembered how he began this journey by complaining and feeling cornered. The orientation session convinced him of the significance of soft skills to succeed as a manager of a megaproject. It changed his attitude.

Now, he started to see how much the organization valued him. He was given a second chance rather than letting him go or immediately demoting him. Not only that, they decided to invest thousands of dollars in helping him grow. They allowed him to have a flexible schedule that permits him to succeed on both fronts (research and training) for the next three months. 

As he drove back home that afternoon, Dan was a different person. No more defensiveness and complaining. He took on some responsibilities and promised to have a new attitude. That was a great start. Marshall Goldsmith recognized twenty habits that pose serious challenges to successful people. One of these habits is making excuses. Goldsmith wrote, “If we can stop excusing ourselves, we can get better at almost anything we choose.”[iv] Dan got rid of this habit before even starting the program.

By the way, we are all the products of our decisions. Our own actions determine who we are and where we are in life. But, very few are daring enough to take responsibility. Earl Nightingale was right when he said, “We are all self-made, but only the successful will admit it.” 

Slowly but surely, Dan began to embrace what had happened. He considered the experiences thus far blessings in disguise. He felt that everything worked out in his favor. Dan got another chance to prove to his superiors, colleagues, and team members that he was ready to take his leadership to the next level. He is up to the task, positive, and prepared to be an active participant in this program.

Be proactive

Think about this. Dan is a very successful researcher whose unique talent and experience the company desperately needs. He was successful when working as a solo researcher on his thesis. He was celebrated and promoted because he had outstanding technical skills that gave him a competitive advantage as a researcher. 

The challenge began when he was promoted to lead a megaproject. That was when the lack of certain soft skills surfaced. They didn’t push him out for fear of jeopardizing the current project and the future fund attraction he brings to the table. 

What would have happened if he were any regular John Doe? He would have been fired right away without the CEO knowing about it. And nobody would have missed him. Take a moment to think about those people your company has been letting go of. How many of them got a chance like Dan? Very few or none…

We need to work on our soft skills proactively. We shouldn’t wait until the lack of certain soft skills brings us in front of our superiors. By then, it could be too late. We may not have the same leverage as Dan. We may not be able to negotiate and get a second chance as he did.

Developing our soft skills is significant in the 21^st-century, where customers are kings. On top of getting along with people within our team, we are expected to collaborate with and influence both internal and external customers. The stakes are high in this very competitive era. We are expected to over-deliver, not just in what we do but also in our interactions with others. 

Therefore, whether you are a young professional or an entrepreneur, an aspiring leader to climb the corporate ladder, a technocrat in the field of science or politics, a community leader, a politician, or a business owner, your ultimate success depends heavily on your soft skills rather than your technical abilities. 

I’m glad that you’re reading this book. I’m sure that the following three parts will give some great insights, tools, processes, and methods that can help you improve your soft skills that make or break your success. Good luck!